Joke Love
Education Joke
Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical
Engineering Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing
questions on final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?"
In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass
Transfer " exam paper contained the question:
"Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with
proof."
Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law or similar. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have
some mass.
If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So,
at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls
leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does
not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there
are more than one of these religions, and people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to
Hell. With the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the
rate of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in
order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio
of the mass of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.
[Answer 1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than
the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
[Answer 2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster
than the increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure
will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate (given to me by
Teresa Banyan
during freshman year) that "it'll be a cold day in Hell
before I sleep with you", and taking into account that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then [Answer 2] cannot be
correct;
...... thus, Hell is exothermic.
The student got the only A.
Other Joke Blog : Love Joke
Your Best Wisher
Joke Hurt Buster
Joke on Lawyer LawyerJokes:
Here are some actual exchanges between lawyers and witnesses
in the court room. Perhaps they ain't so bright after all.
1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"
4. Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for
blood pressure?" A: "No." Q: "Did you check for
breathing?" A: "No." Q: "So, then it is possible
that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
A: "No." Q: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?" A:
"Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Q:
"But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere."
5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the
war?"
6. "Did he kill you?"
7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the
collision?"
8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"
10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August
8th?" A: "Yes." Q: "And what were you doing at that
time?"
11. Q: "She had three children, right?" A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?" A: "None." Q: "Were there
any girls?"
12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes." Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
13. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate
honeymoon, didn't you?" A: "I went to Europe, Sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"
14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?" A: "By
death." Q: "And by who's death was it terminated?"
15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?" A: "He was
about medium height and had a beard." Q: "Was this a
male, or a female?"
16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?" A:
"No, this is how I dress when I go to work."
17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on
dead people?" A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead
people."
18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school
did you go to?" A: "Oral."
19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.." Q: "And
Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?" A: "No, he was
sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."
20. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?" A:
"I have been since early childhood."
Bye
Your Well Wisher
Joke Love
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I asked to see your ticket, not your stub."
-My wife's gone to St Petersburg.
-Is she Russian?
-No, she's taking her time.
-My wife's gone to the Welsh border.
-Wye?
-Search me.