Favourite Joke

Hormone replacement therapy

A woman on hormone replacement therapy goes to visit her doctor:

Woman: "Doctor I am very concerned about the side effects of my hormone replacement therapy."

Doctor: "What seems to be the problem?"

Woman: "It's this hair I've been growing on my chest!"

Doctor: "Really! How far down does it go?"

Woman: "All the the way to my private parts.. and that is another thing!"

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My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last..... 1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays. 2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY. 3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. 4. I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" So I suggested, "How about the kitchen ?" 5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. 6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down !" So I bought her an electric chair. 7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake." 8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now! 9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off... 10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

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you will agree that............. Men: 1. All men are extremely busy. 2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women. 3. Although they have time for women, they don't really care for them. 4. Although they don't really care for them, they always have one around. 5. Although they always have one around them, they always try their luck with others. 6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the women leaves them. 7. Although the women leaves them they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others. Women: 1. The most important thing for a woman is financial security. 2. Although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes. 3. Although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear. 4. Although they never have something to wear, they always dress beautifully. 5. Although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just "an old rag". 6. Although their clothes are always "just an old rag", they still expect You to compliment them. 7. Although they expect you to compliment them, when you do, they don't Believe you.

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1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing 2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich. Marry him." - That's Advertising 3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me." - That's Telemarketing 4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations 5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition 6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's Customer Feedback 7.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. -That's demand and supply gap 8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?" and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share 9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets

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Your sentiment is ur love, your love is ur heart, your heart is ur spouse, your spouse is ur future, your future is ur destiny, your destiny is ur ambition, your ambition is ur aspiration, your aspiration is ur motivation, your motivation is ur believe, your believe is ur peace, your peace is ur target, your target is heaven, heaven is like hell without FRIENDS. It's "world best friends week" send this to all ur good friends. Even me, if i am one of them. See how many u get back. If u get more than 3 u r really a lovable person..!!

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During work, John and William were chatting... John: William, I've been taking night courses for 5 months now and I have an exam next week. William: Oh! John: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell? William: No John: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night courses you would know this. The next day, the same discussion took place: John: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas? William: No John: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this. The next day, once again... John: And do you know who is Jean Jacques Rousseau? William: No John: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this. This time, William got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is George Hunt? John: No William: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this!!

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~~~ Reservations are like this only....read along!!! ~~~ The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MODERN VERSION... The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant's a fool and laughs & dances & plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving. BBC, CNN, EURO-NEWS, NDTV, FOX NEWS show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house. Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticizes the Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper. The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to thegrasshopper. Opposition MP's stage a walkout. Left parties call for "Bharat Bandh" in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry. Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA]", with effect from the beginning of the winter. The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Bush Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by BBC,CNN, AAJ TAK and NDTV. Arundhati Roy calls it "a triumph of justice". Koffi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

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If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Is equal to 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 Then H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96% L+O+V+E=12+15+22+5=54% L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47% (None of them makes 100%) ............................... Then what makes 100% Is it Money? ..... No!!!!! Leadership? ...... NO!!!! Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our "ATTITUDE". It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes OUR Life 100% Successful.. A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% It's d ATTITUDE & not d APTITUDE which decides d ALTITUDE

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