beautiful girl and friendships

11.30.06 (9:53 pm)   [edit]

Do you know the relationship between two eyes..? they blink together,

they move together, they cry together, they see things together and

they sleep together BUT THEY NEVER SEE EACH OTHER.. that's what's
friendship


But when a beautiful girl comes in front, one eye blinks and the other
remains open........................................


Moral of the story : Girls can break even the best of friendships.

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Jokes

11.29.06 (2:59 am)   [edit]

 

41  Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying.... When a 
 Person asked what he was doing.... He replied... Oye!! Higher 
 Studies 
 Yaar...!!! 
 
42  Mayawati came to Lalu's House with a Goat..... 
 Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun Layi ho....?? 
 Maya : Dikhta nahi, Goatwa hai..?? 
 Lalu : Hum Goatwa se hi Puch raha Hun..!! 
 52
43  Wife : Do you want dinner? 
 Husband : Sure, what are my choices? 
 Wife : Yes and no. 
 
44  Man : How old is your father? 
 Boy : As old as me. 
 Man : How can that be? 
 Boy : He became a father only when I was born 
 
45  Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the 
 field" 
 Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field 
 Teacher : How? 
 Student : Ladies first. 
 
46  Customer: If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Delhi in two days time? 
 Post Master : Yes sir, it definitely will. 
 Customer : I bet you, it won't. 
 Post Master : Why not? 
 Customer : It's addressed to Mumbai. 
 
47  1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! 
 2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. 
 1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions 
 
48  Man before Marriage I like Airtel...."Aisi Azaadi Aur Kahaan" 
 After Marriage He's Like Hutch... " Where R U Go Our Network 
 Follows." 
 
49  Santa : That Cow is a Lovely Colour , 
 Farmer : Yes, it's a Jersey. 
 Santa : Oh, I Thought it was its Skin...!!! 
 gaya... aur main...SWARGWASI... 
 
50  They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is 
 love; after marriage it is self-defense 
 
51  It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as 
 women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?! 
 
52  It takes thousand workers to build a castle , Million soldiers to 
 protect a country 
 BUT Just ONE woman to make a Happy HOME! Let's Thank ......KAAMWALI 
 
53  After Finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna Starts his practice. He Chcked 1st 
 patient eyes, tongue & ears by Torch 
 & finally said BOLE TO.......... TORCH THEEEEK HAI 
 
54  What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a 
 positive side! 
 
55  Ladka: Janeman is dil mein aaja. 
 Ladki: Sandal nikalu kya? 
 Ladka: Pagli mandir thodi hi hai, aise hi aaja!! 
 
56  It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED. 
 It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered 
 
57  A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.   
 A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.. 
 A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!  
  
 

 

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Three Lessons for Management

11.25.06 (10:08 pm)   [edit]

Three Lessons for Management


Lesson Number One:

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw
the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story is: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: BS might get you to the top, but it won't keep you
there.

Lesson Number Three:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird
froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

The morals of this story are:
1) Not everyone who drops crap on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep crap, keep your mouth shut.

 

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Sardar Joke

11.19.06 (7:04 pm)   [edit]
1   A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after 
 Every 10 sec a 
 woman gives birth to a kid. 
 A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!. 
 
2   Sardar-why r all these people running? 
 Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup. 
 Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r 
 others running? 
 
3  Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence 
 into future tense. 
 Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail". 
 
4  Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was 
 not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary 
 Expected". 
 After much thought he wrote: Yes! 
 
5  Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant 
 it's already raining. Sardar: So what? Take an 
 umbrella and go. 
 
6  Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer 
 gave 11cr after 
 deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else 
 return my 20 Rs 
 back. 
 
7  Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet 
 Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have 
 posted it.... 
 
8  Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died 
 peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the 
 passengers in the 
 car he was driving.. 
 
9  Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible 
 looking thing is 
 what you call modern art ? 
 Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror! 
 
10  Sardar was writing something very slowly. 
 Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly? 
 Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast. 

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Great Joke

11.14.06 (8:54 pm)   [edit]

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Bring me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded: "You fool; you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to?"

"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

 

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone.

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