Something Funny.......
Something Funny.......
Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don ' t know maths.
Ted: You don ' t know my father!
............
Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mum?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
............
Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.
If she can ' t make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
............
A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
Watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates,
Then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It ' s mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn ' t say anything.
------------
Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born
------------
Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the sam e as your
brother ' s. Did u copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it ' s the sam e dog!
------------
Teacher: "Where were u born?"
Student: " Singapore , Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."
------------
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between ' unlawful '
And ' illegal ' ?" Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.
" ' unlawful ' is when u do something the law doesn ' t allow and ' illegal ' is
A sick eagle."
------------
A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean ' under water ' ?"
"They are all below ' C ' level"
World's Smallest resignation letter written by Sardar
Why you could'nt get ur salary increased???
Why you could'nt get ur salary increased???
After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase no commendation and that the Company is not doing any thing about it. So he decided to walk up to his HR Manager one morning and after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation. The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying:
My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.
The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.
Manager:- How many days are there in a year?
Man:- 365 days and some times 366
Manager:- how many hours make up a day?
Man:- 24 hours
Manager:- How long do you work in a day?
Man:- 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.
Manager:- So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man:- (He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e . 1/3(one third)
Manager:- That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man:- 122 (1/3x366 = 122 in days)
Manager:- Do you come to work on weekends?
Man:- No sir
Manager:- How many days are there in a year that are weekends?
Man:- 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days
Manager:- Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man:- 18 days.
Manager:- OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year.
Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man:- 4 days
Manager:- Do you work on New Year day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on workers day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 2 days sir!
Manager:- Do you come to work on the (National holiday )?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- 1 day sir!
Manager:- Do you work on Christmas day?
Man:- No sir!
Manager:- So how many days are left?
Man:- None sir!
Manager:- So, what are you claiming for?
Man:- I have understood, Sir. I did not realise that I was stealing Company money all these days.
10 RULES TO STAY YOUNG
10 RULES TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let That is why you pay "them!"
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,
whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop" . And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is
with us our entire life, is
ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes,
;music, plants, hobbies,
whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county;
to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people that you love them, at every opportunity.
Before the marriage after the marriage
Before the marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
Now after the marriage you can read it from below to up !!!!
Humour
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that youcan die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal:A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
Panchatantra story
Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine,
sitting under a tree on the
banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market.
One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the
Panchatantra story of his
childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess.
The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The
engineer told her that he had lost
his computer in the river.
As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your
computer ?" Disappointed by
the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No."
She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No,
not at all!!"
Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his.
The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes."
The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she
could make the offer, the engineer
asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my
own ?"
The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid idiot! The first two things I showed you
were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!" So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!!
Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it is better keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt!!!
TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY BE A MATTER OF CONCERN
The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first
standard. My sister is in the third standard and
I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third standard too!"
The teacher had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first standard and behave.
The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agrees to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third standard should know.
The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third standard."
The teacher says to the principal, "Hold on, let me ask him some questions"
The principal and Harry both agree.
The teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, "Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal starts sweating.
Harry "Pockets." Now no reactions or special
face symbols dot Harry's face. He remains absolutely cool!
Teacher: What starts with a C & ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Harry: Coconut
The principal's eyes open really wide, Harry was taking charge.
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
Harry: Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog on three legs?
Harry: Shake hands
Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of
questions, answer me.
Harry (unfazed): Shoot.
Teacher: You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Harry: tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first.
Principal gets restless and a bit tensed.
Harry: wedding ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Harry: nose
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Harry: arrow
The principal breathing a sigh of relief shouted at the teacher,
"Put Harry in the 5th standard, I missed the last ten questions myself."
Learn to live..!!!!
'I really don't know unless I weigh it, 'said the professor,' but my question is: What would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes? ''Nothing' the students said.
'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.
'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students. 'You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?' 'Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!' ventured another student & all the students laughed.
'Very good. But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?'
Asked the professor. 'No'
'Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?' The students were
puzzled.
'What should I do to remedy this'? Asked the professor again.
'Put the glass down!' said one of the students. Exactly!' said the professor.' Life's problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK. Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You
will not be able to do anything.
It's important to think of the challenges (problems) in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT to 'put them down' at the end of every day before you go to sleep. That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh & strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your
way!'
Teacher / Sardar Joke
Sardar: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Sardar: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"
During work, John and William were chatting...
During work, John and William were chatting...
John: William, I've been taking night courses for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
William: Oh! John: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
William: No John: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night courses you would know this. The next day, the same discussion took place:
John: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas? William: No John: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this. The next day, once again...
John: And do you know who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
William: No John: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this. This time, William got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is George Hunt?
John: No William: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know this!!
Marketing
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: "He's very rich.
Marry him." - That's Advertising
3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: "Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me."
- That's Telemarketing
4. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the
car)for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: By the way, I'm rich. Will you marry me?" - That's Public Relations
5. You're at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: You are very rich! Can you marry ! me?" - That's Brand Recognition
6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: I am very rich. Marry me!" She gives you a nice hard slap on your face. - That's
Customer Feedback
7.You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. Marry me!" And she introduces you to her husband. -That's demand
and supply gap
8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: "I'm rich. Will you marry me?"
and she goes with him - That's competition eating into your market share
9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: "I'm rich, Marry me!" your wife arrives. - That's restriction for entering new markets
MOST stupid questions
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:-
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:-
Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-
Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-
No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-
No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-
Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
Think of words ending in "-gry"
There are only three words in the English language. What is the third
word? The word is something that everyone uses every day. If you have
read carefully, I have already told you what third word is.
If u already gave up - send this to your friends the answer will pop up
on the screen automatically.
Friends Forever
TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT.
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE.
THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE."
THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH.
THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.
AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:
"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE."
THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"
THE OTHER FRIEND REPLIED,
"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT." ...
CUTE LOVE STORY
A BOY HAD CANCER AND HE HAD ONE MONTH TO LIVE.
HE LIKED A GIRL WORKING IN A CD SHOP VERY MUCH.
BUT HE DID NOT TOLD HER ABOUT HIS LUV.
EVERYDAY HE WENT TO THE CD SHOP AND BOUGHT A CD ONLY TO TALK TO HER.
AFTER A MONTH HE DIED.
WHEN THE GIRL WENT HIS HOME AND ASKED ABOUT HIM,
HIS MOM TOLD THAT HE DIED AND TOOK HER TO HIS ROOM
.....................................
SHE SAW ALL THE CD'S UNOPENED ...............
THE GIRL CRIED N CRIED N FINALLY DIED.
YOU KNOW Y SHE CRIED?
ÇOZ SHE HAD KEPT HER OWN LUV LETTERS INSIDE THE CD PACKS.
SHE ALSO LUVED HIM.............
moral of the story:if u love someone......say to him directly don't wait for the destiny to play the role.............otherwise u will lose that person.
Viagra Humour ( Just for enjoy)
Viagra Humour ( Just for enjoy)
Viagra One-liner Jokes
-Generic Viagra is sold under the name Fix-a-Flat
- The man spent too much money on Viagra: Now, he's hard up.
- Did you hear about the first death from an overdose of Viagra? A man took twelve pills and his wife died.
- ...Then there was the man who got his Viagra tablet stuck in his throat and suffered from a stiff neck.
- Have you tried the new hot beverage, Viagraccino? One cup and you're up all night.
- The Viagra computer virus turns your floppy disk into a hard drive. The Viagra Super virus then sucks all your data off the hard drive.
- A guy named Dave emailed us that he left his Viagra tablet in his shirt pocket when he sent it to the laundry. Now, his shirt is too stiff to wear.
- For years the medical professional has been looking after the ill, to make them better. Now, with Viagra, they're raising the dead!
- Unconfirmed but frequent reports tell us that a man who overdosed on Viagra caused the funeral home problems - they couldn't close his coffin lid for 3 days.
- New plans are being made to raise the Titanic. Experts plan to pump it full of Viagra, and expect it to rise right up.
Viagra Jokes -
A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex.
The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her it is still experimental and tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner.
So, that night at dinner, she does. About a week later she's back at the doctor's.
Lady: "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you suggested. It wasn't five minutes and he jumps up, rakes all the food and dishes on the floor, grabs me, rips all my clothes off and ravishes me right there on the table."
Doctor: "I'm sorry. We didn't realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."
Lady: "Naah...that's okay. We wouldn't go back to that restaurant anyway."
Perfect Equations
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
if, Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
in other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Men = Pigs + earn money
if Men - earn money = Pigs
in other words,
Men that don't earn money = Pigs
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Women = Pigs + spend
if, Women - spend = Pigs
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Pigs
Summary:
Men earn money not to let women become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!
Wish all the pigs to be happy forever.
Abraham Lincoln's letter to his son's teacher
Lincoln's letter to his son's teacher
He will have to learn,
I know, that all men are not just,
all men are not true.
But teach him also that for every scoundrel there is a hero;
that for every selfish Politician, there is a dedicated leader...
Teach him for every enemy there is a friend,
Steer him away from envy,
if you can, teach him the secret of quiet laughter.
Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest to lick...
Teach him, if you can, the wonder of books...
But also give him quiet time to ponder
the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun,
and the flowers on a green hillside.
In the school teach him it is far honourable to fail than to cheat...
Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him they are wrong... Teach him to be gentle with gentle people, and tough with the tough.
Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd
when everyone is getting on the band wagon...
Teach him to listen to all men...
but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth,
and take only the good that comes through.
Teach him if you can, how to laugh when he is sad...
Teach him there is no shame in tears,
Teach him to scoff at cynics and to beware of too much sweetness...
Teach him to sell his brawn and brain to the highest bidders
but never to put a price-tag on his heart and soul.
Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob
and to stand and fight if he thinks he's right.
Treat him gently, but do not cuddle him,
because only the test of fire makes fine steel.
Let him have the courage to be impatient...
let him have the patience to be brave.
Teach him always to have sublime faith in himself,
because then he will have sublime faith in mankind.
This is a big order, but see what you can do...
He is such a fine fellow, my son!
Wisdom
Three women wanted to cross a river. They had no idea how to cross it, so one woman knelt down on her knees and prayed "Lord give me the power and strength the cross the river." suddenly the woman became ery strong and swam across the river. The next woman thought: if it worked for her, it'll work for me. So she knelt down and prayed "Lord give the skills and the strength to cross the river." the woman built a canoe and rowed herself across the river. The last woman thought: if it worked for both of them, I know it'll work for me. So she also knelt down and prayed "Lord give me the wisdom and knowledge to cross the river." He turned into a man and walked across the bridge.
Humour
Humour
A Commission has just announced that English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other
possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kanhave one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kanbe expekted to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
If zis mad you smil, you may or may notpas on to oza pepl
Relationship
A Mom comes to visit her son James for dinner.....who lives with a girl roommate Sunita. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty James's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts, James volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates." About a week later, Sunita came to James saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver plate. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" James said ,"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, jjust to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you 'did' take the silver plate from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the silver plate.. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love, James
Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now under the pillow...
Love,
Mom.
Lesson: Don't Lie to Your Mother...