Favourite Joke

7 Best Answers For Interview
( How to make fool & win)

Q: Why did you leave your last job?

Real answer:

It didn’t work out.

What you should say:

I felt my talents and abilities were underutilised.
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Q: What are your biggest weaknesses?

Real answer:

Hate all forms of authority and can't concentrate for long.

What you should say:

I am a workaholic. I just don't know when to put down my work.
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Q: You don't seem to hold on to a job long. Why should we think you'll stay here any longer than you've stayed elsewhere?

Real answer:

My employers have always had a hang-up about keeping only competent employees.

What you should say:

I am at a point in my career where I am tired of moving around. I really want to feel part of a team, a long-term enterprise, where I can make a

contribution.
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Q: How do you handle change?

Real answer:

I deal with it everyday.

What you should say:

I think everyone knows that today the only constant is change. I thrive on it.
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Q: How do you get along with others?

Real answer:

Fine, as long as they stay out of my way.

What you should say:

I think the interpersonal dynamics of the workplace can be among the most satisfying aspects of any job.

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Q: What does the word success mean to you?

Real answer:

It means that I don't have to drag myself out of bed.

What you should say:

Success, for me, would be knowing I am making a difference working with a team of people to make a more profitable enterprise.

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Q: What does the word failure mean to you?

Real answer:

It means I continue to collect unemployment insurance.

What you should say:

Failure? I'm sorry. That word is not in my vocabulary.

2 Comments

Software Companies & Their Full forms (India)

1. INFOSYS : Inferior Offline Systems

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10.. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. HP : Hen Pecked

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash First, and Let them go

16. DELL : Deplorable Equipment & Lackluster

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

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Sardar : I hav'nt slept all nite in the train.
 
  Friend : why?
 
  Sardar : Got upper berth.
 
  Friend : why didn't you exchange?
 
  Sardar : Oye, there was nobody to exchange in the lower berth..

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 Teacher lecturing on population:
 
  In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
 
  A Sardar stands up and says: we must find and stop her !!

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Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as
 
  to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
 
  After much thought he wrote : Yes

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Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave him 11 cr after deducting tax.
 
  Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.!
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Sardar proposed a Girl
  .
  .
  .
  Girl said 'I'm 1 year elder to you'
  .
  .
  .
  Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR

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Sardar was writing something very slowly.
 
  Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
 
  Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.

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A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
 
  Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''
 
  Note: Manmohan Singh is the Prime Minister (PM) of INDIA

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Urine Test
 
  Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like anything.
 
  So the other asked, "Why are you crying?"
 
  The first one replied, "I came here for blood test"
 
  Second one asked, "So? Are you afraid?"
 
  First one replied, "No, not that. During the blood test they cut my finger"
 
  Hearing this the second one started crying. The first one was astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"
 
  The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."

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One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK.
 
  A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing"
  Sardar answered '" No I am Banta Singh"
 
  Another Guy Came and asked the same Question.
  Sardar answered " No No Me ! Banta Singh"
 
  Third one came and asked the same
  question, Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to
  shift his place.
 
  While walking he saw another Sardar
  enjoying the Beach.
 
  He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?". The other Sardar was much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing.
 
  The Sardar slapped him on
  his face and said "Idiot, they are all searching for you and you are sitting here"

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